Have you always wished the Keimigs lived in your town to:
- surf in the San Diego waves?
- rediscover grunge in the rain?
- tour colonial Williamsburg?
- increase the number of friends you have in PA?
- drag them back to their frigid east coast roots?
Well now is your chance! The Keimigs are mobile beginning April 2008, and are too indecisive and lazy to decide where to live next. In a true democratic spirit, we are leaving it up to you, our dearest friends, to buy our love. That’s right – we are auctioning off where we will live for at least 6 months. Now is your chance – make a bid!
What it means for YOU if the Keimigs come to your town:
• More of your disposable income will go to drinking and eating!
• More nudity!
• Lower crime rate!
• Regular apology calls from Kris for his drunken behavior!
• Monthly accusations of conspiracy/attempted rape by Kate!
But WAIT, there’s more!
• Your non-disposable income will also go to drinking and eating!
• More pube burning! Never trim those pesky pubes again.
• Sexy will be brought back!
Here’s how it works: you submit your bid in an email to Kris or Kate. We will post all bids and categorize by city, so you can check out the competition. Your bid does not need to be monetary in nature. Sample bids include:
*1 month free accommodations and a free bottle of wine per week
* Daily karaoke, plus sexual access to your girlfriend/sister/mother
So, go ahead, persuade us. We’ll make it worth your while.
